this morning, as usual i had a lot of work then after lunch, ayan na.. petiks nanaman. SO, i searched the net and thought of watching a movie na lang. Of course, it was a sneaky move.. i had to use my earphones and minimize ung window na may movie(para hindi halatang petiks sa work). :p Thanks to watch-movies.net, i was able to watch 'The Women'. It evolves around Mary (Meg Ryan), she's the perfect example of 'women' who tends to fix everything around her that she forgets about herself. (ahem, sounds familiar!) Story: her husband cheated on her, she was fired from her job by her father, her daughter hates her and had a fight with her bestfriend.. it was a simple movie and i knew what the ending would be.. but what caught my attention was the line "what do you want, mary?" This made me think as well, WHAT DO I WANT? What does Min want?!? So after my 6PM mass, i ate in Long John Silver's alone! (hahah!) but surprisingly, it was okay.. time for myself, to think and ponder the events of the movie.. so what do i really want? :D I actually made a collage (just now..at 1AM) in microsoft word (laftrip!) coz i still can't sleep... another sleepless night... so instead of attaching 'my masterpiece', i'll just enumerate the things i want to do.. :D

I wanna go to a cooking class, I always wanted to cook but i just don't know how..
all i know is cook pasta and to fry!:p i want to learn simple stuff like chicken curry
but NOT SPICY, pork steak, morcon, beef kaldereta and of course my favorite kare-kare.
(ahahah, simpleng-simple noh! :p) mmm... kakagutom!

I also want to continue rowing, i know i'll get big.. or my upper body will get bigger but at least i'll do something, i have a sport that i can release all my 'energy'... hahah! meet new people at the same time. :D


i also would like to try wakeboarding! just try and see if i can do it! it is something i've been wanting to do but so scared that i might stumble, get hurt and look stupid.. :s
Finally, i want to run/jog every weekend on the beach. Around 5 or 6am, just jog and relax... (in my bikini plus shirt shempre.. hahaha!, pwede rin!:p) Just imagine, cool air, peaceful, no one bothering you.. you can just be yourself! Then have breakfast sa shore, i mean beside the beach.. Mcdonalds... sausage mcmuffin with egg... there goes my exercise! :D

These are the things i want to do..soon! now that i have plenty of time, and now that there's nothing to lose..dba? why not try everything... you never know, i might actually enjoy it and this might be 'the pleasant change' i've been waiting for...

I've decided to set achievable goals this year that will help me lead a more comfortable life.. here's some.. :p

2. Learn something new each month
It is too easy to fall into the same old boring routine and this will not make you feel better. Instead, learn something new each month. Think of something that will interest you, maybe learning a new instrument or joining a sport. Learning something different doesn't require you to have money, search in the inet and learn a new recipe or a new 'programming language' (nerd!:p), which is totally free!

3. Count your blessings
Don't you notice that, the bad things are easier to believe? Stop that theory and start counting on your blessings. Be thankful everyday that you are still alive and whatever problem you may have, face it with a smile! God loves us so much, we just have to open our eyes and see the thousand good things we have in life.

This day would be my day... the day i was set free from all things that hunted me for the last 2 months... now im sure it wasn't my fault... that all my accusations were true...i was branded as the 'absurd' girlfriend... with a vehement denial and made me feel that the relationship fell apart because of the fights we had which made me the cynical one...
it all happened so fast.. first he was asking for space (when we are already miles apart).. then the hurtful words came out on christmas day.. (imagine, christmas! how can anyone do that to someone who you say you 'love')..days passed and was trying to calm myself down. On new year's day, i received an unexpected call.. he blamed me for things i said that was not even my fault and which i didn't really say.. 2 supposedly 'happy days' of the year, and he didn't care if he'll break my heart..again! didn't even think of how i would feel.. Dang! how selfish can you get.
i heard a million lies.. kept waiting for several nights for things to change.. made excuses for him.. cried for nights.. accepted his hurtful words..sacrificed alot...but i can't be that person anymore....
Today, seeing and tracing all the evidences of betrayal...i can be free and stop blaming myself.. i know im not a perfect girlfriend, but i sure gave him my best! if that wasn't enough, then you're not for me to begin with... i will not settle for less.. and yes, i do agree with your 'parting words'... i DO deserve someone better....
Moving on is never easy but with this situation, i know that is the best thing.. letting you go with a smile, and now, my heart can be whole again. i will never give up and never stop believing that life will be better for me... I WILL BE BETTER!