These past few days were the hardest part… there’s guilt, frustration, loneliness, sadness, denial and the list goes on… all the negative words you can think of that would equal to HURT. Hate is a very strong word, and I know kahit masakit yung nangyari I didn't have the strength to be mad at him.. All I wanted to do is just stay home, stay in bed (forever kung pwede lang), cry the whole time and just dwell on what happened… Yes, this is the worst Christmas ever (for me that is).. Imagine the pain I felt, excited to go back home and just see him, hug him… be with him… tapos ayun, mawawala pala syo.. I completed simbang gabi prayed to God for things to be better for us, bless me with my xmas wish.. I’ve been a good girl naman e.. ONE miracle lang..

But then I realized, I did everything I can to save the relationship.. but I can only do so much… buti nalang my true friends, my besty sister and family were there to support me.. I know they’re sick and tired of hearing my story, my dramas and see my never ending tears.. but hey, break-ups are never easy.. (ni-hindi nga ako makakain eh)

I found myself eager to go to Baclaran church, (imagine nakapag Baclaran pa ko! last wednesday nanaman daw of 2008.) and I’m with a good friend I didn’t expect na pumupunta dun.. (Super thank you Pat… you were always there for me.) It was my first time in Baclaran church and honestly, it felt good. As in, nakatulong sha ng malaki! After praying, I felt at peace, relieved.. lighter… see things in a positive way..Iniyak ko na lahat and lifted everything to God, sha na bahala. The past few days were hell, however, I know that God is preparing me for something much better. The best is yet to come!
“I still thank you Lord, I know things happen for a reason. You wont give me something that you and I can’t handle..”