Shattered.. confused… lost…
Those are the words that I can think of that best describes what I’m feeling right now.. alam mo ung feeling na parang nasira lahat ng plans, hopes and dreams mo..

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning, sadness and grief. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. Ang sakit, sobra.. At first, you still wish na baka nga meron pang hope, may chance pa.. baka kaya pang ayusin then suddenly, you’ll realize and wake up one morning na wala na talaga… You wish you could bring back the times that you were both just happy and you wish na hindi mo na ginawa ung mga bagay that made your relationship fall apart.. But you can only do so much..

I got into writing which is definitely not me, (hello, ako pa!) for those people who knows me talaga, will never think I’d do this.. But maybe here, I can say everything.. nang matapos na yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.. malabas ko na lahat and maybe one day, I'll wake up and be over him..
Its so hard to move on especially when you know you gave everything and you both made plans for the future na, umasa ka and of course you felt its HIM na.. I went home for christmas just to hear those painful words, (sana ndi nalang ako umuwi). But as they say, the truth hurts. I give him credit for somehow being honest with me and putting me out of my misery. It sooo painful na bakit hindi ka man lang niya pinaglaban. Hindi man lang i-try to fix things if there’s still love… Ang dami kong questions...pero I think its better not knowing nalang..

I spent my vacation with friends and family.. Obviously, they will say things to comfort you.. (he doesn’t deserve you, you’ll find someone better who will treat you right, not your loss, etc.) but deep inside isa pa rin naman ung gusto mo mangyari… to get back together and baka naman God can give me one miracle..HIM...

As I end this journal, I know I'm in the stage of "denial"...pa rin... i need time to heal and be strong again.. I know God will never abandon me, God is good... Things will be better... someday....